This post was written about 6 months ago when I was still living at the Buddhist retreat center where I spent the last year. It provides some background to my journey before I started this blog that may be of interest. Isn’t it humbling looking back to our past? xo D
So I find myself here again. At the end. At the beginning. That bittersweet moment where the two kiss, unsure if it’s hello or goodbye. Because the truth is, I was feeling a little off for a while. A little bruised. A little raw.
Two years ago I walked the stage of my university with arms and heart wide open. Life was my oyster and you’d better believe I was gonna get the pearl. Well, Life pushed me in the deep end and I did something resemblant of a sloppy doggy paddle. Let’s just say I got a rude (but necessary) awakening.
I’m a Midwestern lady, who after years of quietly reading tarot cards and spiritual texts on my bedroom floor packed up and moved to Los Angeles. I was seeking a community to support the budding intuitive inside me. On this avid search, I met all kinds of people. Starry-eyed crystal healers, soft-spoken angel readers, acupuncturists, herbalists, atheists, lovers, haters, brainy psychologists, big dreamers and dream dashers. Every one of them a teacher. I’ve fallen in love, and I’ve had my heart broken. I’ve been lied to and cheated. And then I’ve cheated and lied. I was messy.
But I’m trying to see the beauty in the mess now. Because that mess got me this far! And sometimes we need to be in the mud, I sure did. Until one morning when I woke up and knew I was ready to step out of it. It was time for a change.
So I thanked all that shadowy shit for what it taught me, bundled up my lessons, and welcomed in a new way of being. I donated nearly all my belongings in exchange for living and learning at a Buddhist retreat center in California’s Redwood Forest. It was the scariest thing I’ve done in a long time, but it was also the right thing. (Don’t you hate it when that happens?) But, of course, there were the sparkly perks too. After a couple years of throwing myself into LA’s meditation community, I really wanted to go to the source of the practice and learn from the ancient texts. And I knew there were some seriously wise, dedicated teachers on the other end to greet me. Looking back today, I see how that hugely daunting risk has already been immensely rewarding only two months in! Soul’s totally saying, “I told you so,” right now.
As far as my intentions for Raw Soul, I’m remaining open to how it unfolds. I want to share as much knowledge as I can. To create an open space to learn and heal together in hopes that one (or many) of you will happen upon exactly what you were ready to hear. Funny how the Universe works that way, isn’t it?
Today, I toast to beginnings, and to welcoming the Unknown. Thank you for being here, and for joining me! I look forward to discovering what the future holds.