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This is Grief

THIS IS GRIEF

saturday morning
deep breath
more tears
get up dizzy
back into bed
make love to every sad song
try again
two scoops of coffee
undone
stop everything crying
on the kitchen floor
rainbow fractals
on the cupboard door
never saw that before
thoughts about angels
and cardinals
and that damn church
that you loved
so much
and then how much
i loved you
your floral slipcovers
fat-free ice cream cups
and puckered lip kisses
on christmas
ask where you are
and hear the news
whispered
she’s there
but i’m still here
toes cold on december tile
deep breath
rise heavier but
a little more clear
this is grief
and today
she’s with
me

On Teeth

On Teeth
~
Teeth.
For such a small fraction of our being they sure get a lot of our attention.
If only we gave the rest of ourselves as much care.
When was the last time you dedicated two minutes to clearing out the foreign junk that’s collected in your head?
Or took a pause to polish off the smudge of another’s hands on your heart?
Every morning? probably not.
Everyone and her mother shells out 5k to tweak and polish and strap those pearly ducks in a row.
Hours and dollars and aching agreement that in a mere 18 months we will be a professional and desirable podium, amplifying the twisted language we haven’t invested so much to arrange.
But then again, isn’t it strange,
That one glance at my crooked grin might bar a mate from knowing the very thoughts and heart’s tender space I’ve decided more worthy of my cultivation?
That I may never have the place to offer an explanation of all the winding paths and joyful glasses of Cabernet that have come to stain these faithful soldiers of mine?
This smile is proudly worn and beaten, standing guard.
Serving a larger purpose than a pretty presentation.
Man the gate.
Release my word with thoughtful regard.
Hold my tongue when my spite gets the best of me.
These I deem worthy of celebration more than just a tidy smile.
So while I’m giving my deck its morning scrub, I will tug on my heart’s strings to remind her that she is alive and well.
And I will name ten beautiful things more worthy of ten minutes than fixing these teeth of mine.
Because I believe
It’s the art within the frame
That is truly worth smiling about.

Bullshit an Intuit

~
BULLSHIT AN INTUIT

you can’t bullshit an intuit

she sees the desire in your smile

hears the truth in your sugar-coated lies

feels the ripple of your mood in a room

her ears ring when you’re only thinking of her

the corners of your mouth say more

than a dictionary of words, and she is fluent

a mortal translator turning your

stuttering slur into poetry

will you even pause to hear it?

she may tell your story before you do

you see, this woman feels you—knows you

she will bask in the glow of your love

or storm the gates of your iron will

so when you turn to reach

for the familiar deceit

retreat, quit

she’s an intuit

Human Heart

~
HUMAN HEART
~
as a human being
with a human heart
i will never hold back its breaking
so when love arrives as mine for the taking
you better believe I’ll say yes
to the risk of the fall
to losing it all
every time
before i opt out in favor of safety’s illusion
it’s never my heart who knows confusion
it’s my head who’s mixed up
and it’s pretty fucked up
that I once considered love less than first
so let me say that here, today
this human being
with this human heart
is saying yes
to you

Soulful Sacrifice

Dove in the Dark

The Unutterable We

Leading Home

Leading Home

by Danielle Beutell